Jayson Werth is a Thieving Base-stard

Jayson Werth, who rode my fantasy bench all week to make room for my awesome outfield—who did nothing but suck on Tuesday, I might add—stole bags yesterday like Dane Cook steals jokes.

The Philadelphia Phillies outfielder’s first steal of the night against the Los Angeles Dodgers came in the form of a double steal between him and Ryan Howard, with Werth snagging third in the fourth inning. He ended up scoring on a Jimmy Rollins single, so good job there.

Let me walk you through the rest of these shenanigans. It’s the seventh inning, and Werth singles on a liner to left. Then, he takes the five-finger discount on second base, again with Rollins at the plate. Left-hander Will Ohman then ends up walking J-Roll intentionally anyhow, which obviously irritates Werth. With Raul Ibanez batting, another double steal goes down to open up first base (steal No. 3 on the day for the sneaky guy, yay math)…and another walk.

So the baggies are juiced and Ohman is flipping out. Dodgers manager Joe Torre realizes this, and replaces him with heavy-duty righty Ronald Belisario to face Pedro Feliz. And what does Werth do? He has the balls to swipe home for his fourth steal of the game and seventh of the year.

And Belisario has the balls to walk Feliz.

Werth’s last three steals were exciting and exhilarating, but it’s pretty funny (to me) that he worked so damn hard to get them, when he would’ve been awarded the bases anyway on all three occasions, thanks to some terrible pitching.

In any case, Werth ties a Phillies record set twice by Sherry Magee (awesome old-timey baseball name) in 1906, and another time by Garry Maddox in 1978. Pete Rose was the last one to come close, stealing three bases in one inning in 1980, an MLB record.

“I guess he was feeling frisky,” said skipper Charlie Manuel.

Can we start calling him “Frisky” please?

-100 points for having to mention Pete Rose’s name two posts in a row.

 

[Babes Love Baseball]

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