What Happens When Mean Boys Take Over a Blog Site

It’s a tough world out there. And blogging is no exception.

 

Recently, a bunch of readers attempted to coerce me from posting to a site called The Good Phight on SB Nation. For your convenience, you can click on those words and it’ll take you there.

 

Isn’t technology great?

 

Basically their beef is that they only want to read news from statisticians and don’t want to be bothered with any opinion on the game outside of graphs that post the Phillies performance on an X/Y axis or ideas aside from numbers that affect a player’s BABIP.

 

A BABIP? Can I calculate that on a slide rule or should I fetch a pipette?

 

Trust me, I get the BABIP. It’s the batting average of balls hit into play and is a method of determining a player’s future value in fantasy baseball. But there’s not a stat in the world that’ll tell you why the Phil’s ruled in come-from-behind wins early in the season and now can’t post one to save their skin. Or when Jimmy Rollins will get his groove back, or what identity Brett Myers with pitch with when he returns.

 

My favorite comment was written by a guy who was so disgusted that he’d spent his only five minutes that day to try to update himself on Phillies stats by reading my article called, “And You Thought Steroids Were No Laughing Matter.”

 

What part of my title infers that it’s a game recap? Then, instead of simply ignoring my blogs, he used another five minutes of his time to write me a very lengthy request to stop posting.

 

Is that an oxymoron?

 

Is that an actual moron?

 

Funny how technically advanced these readers are, yet most of those who posted comments are unacquainted with the shift keys on either side of the keyboard that are responsible for creating capital letters.

 

And it’s obvious most of them need to review a manual on grammar or better yet, read the contents of the First Amendment.

 

Here’s a banner idea. If a blog is posted by someone you don’t want to follow—don’t read it.

 

No, they couldn’t possibly do that. That’s a great piece of advice from someone they don’t want to read, but now they can’t take the advice because it was crafted by someone they didn’t want to read in the first place but were mystically forced to click on their blog.

 

Ahhhhh! It’s a vicious cycle!

 

So Good Phight guys, here’s the deal. When I post something that has the little words “A Babe’s Take” listed as the blogger’s name under the title, don’t click on it. Don’t do it! Stop yourself! Take control, or better yet devise your own 12-step program to deal with it because this three-step program is mine:

 

1.      Get

2.      A

3.      Life

 

Just stop your pointer finger from clicking on my blog because I could care less if your middle finger relays to me what you truly think of my posts.

 

And if you continue to coerce me from posting on this site I’ll start posting more. And I’ll follow that with recipes from Charlie Manuel and holiday gift ideas for baseball lovers from Martha Stewart.

 

I might even contact that lady from Hints from Heloise to gather stain fighting tips for the players who tarnish their uniforms on a slide, or worse yet, start collaborating on blog ideas with my grandma.

 

And for your information, a frequent reader of The Good Phight secretly emailed me to let me know this would happen, yet he encouraged me to keep posting.

 

So let me tell you what you can expect when you see that I’ve listed another blog. I’m a hundred pounds of pure babe and this is my skinny on the Phillies. I have words and I’m not afraid to use them. I’ve even been known to share facts via cheesy poetry. But be warned, Dr. Suess is my idol.

 

Matter-of-fact I feel a poem coming on now. Nope, sorry that was a side effect of tacos.

 

Here’s the poem.

 

Ode to Mean Boys

 

Do not read my blog today

‘cause now you know it’s not your taste.

I’ve been known to skirt the stats

And post a blog that’s causes laughs.

 

I sometimes write these in a car

And sometimes when I’m driving far.

And at the bar

And on a star

While drinking from a Mason jar.

 

I love the Phils and I love men.

I’m sometimes like a mother hen.

I will not stop what’s in my head.

I will not fear what lies ahead.

 

So read my posts if you can make

A cake from scratch for your blind date.

But rest assured I mean to stay

And post my thoughts upon your page.

 

There. Put that in your pipette and BAP it.

 

The rest of you I’ll see at the ballpark.