Philadelphia Phillies: Best Pitchers of 2010

As we all know, 2010 is being called the “Year of the Pitchers.” With names like Stephen Strasburg and Ubaldo Jimenez popping up all over the place, how are the Philadelphia Phillies pitchers stacking up?

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Upcoming Yankees Series Could Bring Hope for Phillies

While it was nice to see the Phillies leave Boston on a positive note with a 5-3 win against the Red Sox, it’s difficult not to look ahead and dread the Phils’ three-game series in New York against the red-hot Yankees.

The two teams have been on two completely different paths this season, as the Yankees have seemingly breezed their way to an impressive 40-23 record, while the Phillies are struggling for every single run—much less a win.

There is, however, some hope for the Phillies and their fans that they can pull out a couple wins during this stretch and use it as momentum to get their season rolling.

First of all, the Phillies seem to always do this. At some point between June and August, they start looking like a bunch of scrubs and drop games to teams with no business being on the same field. But they pull out of it just in time to get things rolling and suck us all back in.

But during their stretch of incompetence, it’s clear they play to the level of their competition; good or bad. So when they open up their series against the Yankees this Tuesday, it’s likely they’ll come out and look like the team everyone expected to represent the NL in the World Series, and not the team barely hanging in the middle of the pack in the NL East.

If they can get their bats moving and play well against a team like the Yankees, it could go a long way toward repairing their damaged psyche and hopefully translate into a run that can get them back on top of their game, and the NL East.

Secondly, Roy Halladay will be pitching on Tuesday. Halladay is 8-4 on the season with a 1.96 ERA and a few complete games, including MLB’s 20th perfect game all-time.

His win-loss record isn’t bad, but it’s very misleading. There’s only been one game all season long that he truly lost. The other three have been a complete lack of run support. So even though he only allows one or two runs, it’s going to be difficult to win when his offense can’t even get him that.

Halladay will duel C.C. Sabathia (6-3, 4.01 ERA), who has been a bit inconsistent this season when not playing the Baltimore Orioles. In fact, it’s been almost a month since he’s beaten a team other than the Orioles, and is a mediocre 2-3 against the other teams he’s faced.

The Phils are really going to have to get the bats going on Wednesday and Thursday to help support Kyle Kendrick and Jamie Moyer respectively, but if they can score even three or four runs on Tuesday, it should be enough to get the opening win and, hopefully, some momentum.

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Philadelphia Phillies: There’s Got To Be a Morning After

Charlie Manuel shuffled the lineup again. That’s good, I like adding something new to the same old routine.

Just like me, Charlie must have a drawer he goes to when things go stale.

Hypothetically speaking.

I imagine the Phils are scraping the barrel on superstitions by now. At this point they’re probably wearing children’s panties, playing hopscotch on the way through the clubhouse, and buttering their Pop-Tarts from right to left.

You heard me. Butter on Pop-Tarts. It covers all four food groups: butter, sugar, flavor, and crust.

But honestly, it’s time to really shake things up.

I’ll start.

This babe’s opinion of what the Phillies are missing is heart. The team has as many errors in about 60 games as they did all last season, and figures suggest that aliens abducted the real Phils in mid-May. But most importantly, I’m beginning to think the only reason they looked so good was because the competition was so bad.

It’s the same concept behind Lady Gaga selling records.

Whoa!!! That’ll stir things up. Maybe the Gaga will give me the finger, then me and Mets fans will finally have something in common.

And maybe I’ll finally get the recognition someone else deserves.

Fat chance. Last year I alleged that Charlie Manuel was on performance-enhancing drugs and all I got was a few reads. Poor Jerod Morris of Midwest Sports Fans actually had a basis for making his allegation about Raul Ibanez and he was chastised on national television.

What’s a girl got to do to earn some disrespect?

I know, I’ll trade sex for ballpark seats.

My husband says that’s already been done.

Is nothing sacred?!

My brother texted me the reason the Phillies are fumbling: That’s what happens when you quit cheating.

My reply was rich in reasoning and intelligence: You’re ugly.

Seriously though, what’s a manager to do? He’s in charge of grown men who play sports professionally. They know their job, they know the game, and they know they get paid millions of dollars to produce. But what if, like the guys who claim to be searching for a solution to the BP spill, Charlie’s out of options?

I don’t think setting off a nuclear bomb will stop the earth from emptying its soul into the Gulf of Mexico and I don’t think setting fire to someone’s fanny will make him hit the ball.

Hey, maybe if I sat on Jayson Werth’s lap it would set something off.

My husband says, “Yeah, the remnants of his lunch.”

He would know. In my house a wind instrument isn’t a clarinet and he calls me the human Whoopie Cushion.

And with that, I think I’ve taken a nose dive into disrespect.

Hopefully I’ve said plenty without saying anything at all. Maybe someone somewhere will appreciate my ability to say nothing of value for long periods of time and decide to give me a chance.

Wait. Isn’t that the prerequisite for public office? I can just see my campaign qualifications: ability to lose train of thought while spouting vividly incoherent sentence fragments.

Hey, it worked for (insert favorite politician here).

I would have written my preference but I don’t discriminate. I even believe bi-partisans should serve in the military.

Now I’m done. Hopefully I’ve taken a little heat off the home team and spiced up a day that could end in a disappointing series sweep.

I’ll say goodbye the same way my husband bids farewell to my son.

Go ahead—pull my finger.

See you at the ballpark.

 

 

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Philadelphia Phillies Again Embarrassed By Red Sox in Boston

It just doesn’t seem like the Phillies are ever going to get back on track, does it?

Even earlier this season, it wasn’t a big deal if the Phillies fell behind because we all knew the bats would get going and they’d find a way to pull it out.

They used to thrive when they were down, but now it seems to do nothing but take the wind right out of their sails.

And now things have gotten so bad that even with an early two-run lead, the Phils can’t seem to get out of their own way long enough to actually make something happen or sustain a run.

The one and only bright spot of this dreadful run for the Phillies was the fact that their starting pitchers were at least keeping them in the game. Even the rightfully oft-criticized bullpen wasn’t allowing a whole lot of scoring.

But now, after two of the worst outings I’ve seen in back-to-back days by starting pitchers, there isn’t a bright spot left for the Phillies.

Jamie Moyer had his worst start in his 84-year career and was only able to last a little over one inning as he gave up nine runs on nine hits and the Phils lost 12-2 to the Red Sox on Friday.

And then, on Saturday, Joe Blanton decided to keep it up as he gave up nine runs of his own on 13 hits over four pathetic innings.

But that’s not even the most embarrassing part. The most embarrassing part is when a kid making his first major league plate appearance comes up with the bases loaded and I’m not surprised in the least when he hits a grand slam.

That’s right. For those of you who had the good fortune to miss the game, Daniel Nava, a kid who went undrafted and played in an independent league, nailed a grand slam off Blanton in his very first plate appearance.

Not only that, but he did it on the very first pitch.

That should be a surprising feat. The guys in the booth were surprised as they yammered on and on and on and on about it all game long, but I wasn’t shocked in the least.

I stood in front of my TV, said “Here comes the salami” out-loud to myself and simply shook my head and walked away as soon as he took the swing. No doubt about it, that ball was gone.

But that wasn’t the end of the woeful day as the Phils were victimized for 10 runs and 16 hits while they were held scoreless for the final seven innings and only mustered seven hits for the day and continued their horrendous interleague play.

Cole Hamels is slated to get the start on Sunday as the Phillies look to avoid being swept by the Red Sox, but that doesn’t appear likely with the knuckleballer Tim Wakefield on the mound for Boston.

The Phillies have a tough time with knuckleball pitchers and with any team playing out of the AL, so don’t expect much of anything on Sunday, either.

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Philadelphia Phillies: What’s Not To Love About Interleague Play?

Some people like dogs. Some people only like big dogs.

I don’t blame them. Big dogs are real dogs—a man’s dog. They eat a man-sized meal and take a man-sized crap. They can down a steak in one gulp and leave you a gift the size of a baseball glove when you screw up.

Boston took one hell of a dookie on the Philadelphia Phillies.

The pinstriped NL Pennant champs returned to the scene of their May skid hoping for a Groundhog Day, but got their bats handed to them on a Fenway platter.

The trouble didn’t start with a Boston teammate with a catchy nickname like “Dice-K” or by letting a baseball villain called “The Knuckleballer” have his way with you.

Not that letting a knuckleballer have their way with you is such a bad thing. You don’t ever know where it’s gonna go. In the dark, that could be quite an adventure.

But an adventure is not what the Phillies were hoping for. Baseball isn’t like combing your room for a missing sock or discovering what that bottle of Tequila did with your pants.

Last night’s game felt like a scavenger hunt for a pitcher who could go more than an inning and wouldn’t leave us in suspense.

That reliever was actually a starter named Kyle Kendrick. I’m hoping that means one thing—JA Happ’s coming back. I could really use a change of scenery in section 145 and Happ has quite a tight backside.

But after giving up three hits in as many innings in his rehab start on Tuesday, the possibility of sticking him in the rotation seven days later seems as improbable as my breasts ever attracting attention.

To add insult to injury, the Sox replaced the mildly effective John Lackey with Boof Bonser.

Obviously that’s a real guy.

Boof has spent his major league career perfecting his 2010 ERA of 18.0. He’s even been spotted moonlighting as a hotdog vendor. Fortunately, tossing dogs to patrons has kept him in shape. So after the opposition took a comfortable lead against a slumping Philly team and Jamie Moyer turned the game into a scrimmage, Terry Francona decided to empty his bench.

He just reached a little far into the stands to do it.

Suddenly we’re not thinking Jamie will be playing with one of his sons in the years to come. The Moyer fleet might just lose its captain.

And that brings us to the million dollar question: How much more faith can Charlie Manuel have in players who aren’t effective?

Answer: Ask Dave Trembley.

Whoa! Now before you get your panties in a bunch (and if you’re wearing boxers you probably already do), remember, I’m just kidding.

I’ve always loved Charlie. Even before the weight loss. I love him as a manager, I adore the way his cheeks rumble when he chomps his gum, and I’m still trying to bribe my way into the locker room.

That might have just gotten easier.

But a slump isn’t something that can be assessed and fixed like a car, and putting mind over matter isn’t like learning to bend spoons.

In other words, having a big dog will only guarantee you one thing: big turds.

Meanwhile, I’m happy waiting around to see the losing streak replaced by another, even if I have to run across the field naked to set the pace.

Hey, there are few things funnier than a tiny naked woman getting Tasered on national television. The good news is those little blurry spots won’t have to be too big to hide my privates.

That’ll be one for the scrapbook.

See you at the ballpark.

 

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David Ortiz’s bat, John Lackey’s Arm Help Red Sox Cruise Past Phillies

Earlier this season, David Ortiz and John Lackey weren’t producing for the Boston Red Sox. Ortiz couldn’t get on base and Lackey had a tough time keeping men off them. Surely enough, to keep the success train running for the Red Sox, an ineffective Jamie Moyer cured Ortiz’s woes, and an anemic Philadelphia Phillies offense did the same for Lackey’s.

Moyer, 47 years young, has been tremendously effective during his golden years, but his 84 mile-per-hour fastball and assortment of slow off-speed pitches didn’t fool Boston’s bats. Ortiz, who had been mired in a 3-28 slump to start the month of June, especially proved troublesome. He doubled in Victor Martinez as part of a five-run first inning that culminated in a two-run shot by Mike Lowell , then sent Moyer to the showers by socking the Red Sox third consecutive double and fourth hit of the second inning. By the time reliever David Herndon obtained the third out of the frame, it was 9-0 in Boston.

Lackey, even with his recent struggles, would have a tough time squandering this early advantage. But for his sake, it was uplifting to see the Phillies reputably dangerous offense still cold. Good pitching has done them in, but their doom has also been impatience and simply trying too hard. During the series opener, it was a combination of the three. Lackey possessed control Boston had yet to see from their big offseason investment, and his pitch-count was relatively low due to Philadelphia’s over aggressiveness.

Thanks in part to a two-run single by Ortiz in the third that increased his season rbi-total to 39, Lackey was staked a 12-0 lead heading to the mound in the top of the fourth. Now, a win was firmly in the Red Sox grasp, and the 31-year old right hander made it even more so, limiting the Phillies to one run in the fourth after running into substantial trouble. He allowed just one run over the next three innings, and finished his seven innings pitched by throwing 62 of his 86 pitches for strikes and allowing six hits while walking no one.

In winning by the final score of 12-2, Boston socked 17 hits. Their offense has been producing at a high rate of late, and most of the pop has come from the middle of their lineup. Martinez, whose average has risen 50 points over the past month, has been their catalyst. He scored twice and had two RBI doubles. And Kevin Youkilis , who had the night off but is batting well over .300, have picked up an offense that has missed lead-off spark Jacoby Ellsbury , and hasn’t received expected production from former-MVP Dustin Pedroia . With unsurprising performance of Martinez, Youkilis, offseason signee Adrian Beltre , and now Ortiz, Boston has worked their way into the American League East race.

It’s early June with plenty of baseball left, but the Red Sox are paving themselves a pretty comfortable path. They have amassed 35 wins. Ortiz slumped for a long period of time to begin season. Ellsbury has been on the shelf. Pedroia hasn’t been himself. Marco Scutaro has been hot and cold. And prior to this excellent start by Lackey, solid pitching has been scarce. Clay Buchholz has been their ace, and Jon Lester , aside from last night’s struggles, has been dependable. But as a whole, the staff has underachieved. When not injured, Josh Beckett has been disastrous. Daisuke Matsuzak a has been wild. Tim Wakefield has served batting practice far too often. Lackey hasn’t made a smooth transition to the American League East. All of their troubles and the team is still only four games out of first place with a record of 36-27.

The Yankees have agonizingly watched slugger Mark Teixeira bat near the dreaded Mendoza Line, but are only a game behind the Tampa Bay Rays for first place. Given his struggles, their success is a scary thought. And likewise, just imagine if Lackey and Ortiz can deliver like they did against Philadelphia on a regular basis, and the likes of Ellsbury and Pedroia are able to return to full-strength; how deadly Boston would be in that amazingly competitive division once August and September come around.

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Secret Agent Utley: Is Chase Utley Playing Through an Injury…Again?

Let’s forget for a moment that Chase Utley is one of the most popular athletes on the planet.

Let’s imagine he’s a fictional character on Fox’s just-ended TV series, 24—and that he’s withholding some kind of information.

Mr. Utley being interrogated by government agent Jack Bauer?

Well, Chase would prove to be one tough nut for Jack to crack. To the public eye, Utley has always appeared the master of stoicism. No emotion. Totally even-keel all the time.

If Chase has a weakness, he never lets on. If Chase feels pain, he never admits it. If Chase has a secret, well, then good luck trying to get it out…or flush it out, choke it out, burn it out, or cut it out, Jack.

Yeah, that Chase Utley is one tough guy to read…or break.

He’s also a gamer, and never one for making excuses. But his struggles at the plate this season have led this writer to suspect that Chase could be suffering from an injury that he is choosing to bury from the press.

Seems like Utley also has a pretty high tolerance for pain.

Of course, this is all speculation. My next conversation with Chase will be my first ever. But of all the Phillies stars who have struggled in the past three weeks, Utley’s shortcomings are nearly impossible to rationalize.

Ryan Howard has always been a perennial slow-starter. Jayson Werth has certainly shown that he is not the $20 million per-year performer everyone insisted he was just five weeks ago. Raul Ibanez has hit like Raul Mondesi’s grandmother for the past calendar year now.

But Utley, the Phillies’ best all-around player and most consistent performer for the past five years, has been this impotent cluster of Phillies’ weakest link. And his struggles are by far the most concerning.

Chase hasn’t been himself for the better part of this year. As Jack Bauer likes to say, “something’s not right.”

Through June 10, 2010, Utley has a .262 AVG, 10 HR, and 26 RBI. Through June 10 last year, he was hitting .303 with 15 HR and 41 RBI. His 2010 slugging percentage (.520) and OPS (.862) are each his lowest since he became a starter back in 2005.

Utley, like most of his teammates, has been in a total freefall for the past month. After hitting .315 through May 15, Chase is hitting .171 (13-for-76) with just ONE home run and FOUR RBI.

Now, to be fair, some of Utley’s lack of production can be attributed to Placido Polanco missing nine games and Jimmy Rollins only playing in 12.

By the way, shortstop-sub Wilson Valdez has walked ONCE this season and hit into NINE double plays. But let’s not talk about Wilson.

Anyway, if Chase’s struggles were caused by a mechanical problem, it’s likely it would have been corrected by now. Everyone says Utley watches as much film and works as hard in between games as anybody.

On the other hand, if Utley is hiding an injury, it wouldn’t be the first time.

Throughout the second half of 2008, Utley continually dismissed the notion that he had a hip injury even though Phillies’ front office personnel suggested otherwise. “I feel like I do every year at this time,” told the Philadelphia Inquirer on Sept. 18, 2008. Chase wound up having hip surgery during the offseason. 

As far as we know, Utley didn’t win up playing through any injuries last season, but his teammate Brad Lidge sure did.

Lidge spent most of last June on the DL, but pitched through elbow and knee ailments throughout the rest of the season and postseason. After the World Series, Lidge finally admitted he had never been fully healthy in 2009, partially explaining his 7.21 ERA and 11 blown saves during the year.

Lidge in ‘09, just like Utley in ‘08, was a real trooper. But acknowledging his ailments at a far earlier date may have benefited both him and his team.  

There’s nothing the Phillies need more than a healthy and productive Chase Utley. Because as the listless offensive performances pile up with alarming regularity, the Philly fanbase has only been able to say one thing, the same thing agent Jack Bauer likes to say when things aren’t going too well for him:

“Damn it!”

 

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Time for a New Charlie Manuel

The last few weeks of Phillies baseball have been pitiful.

Just when fans thought the team’s current slump was over after Tuesday night’s slugfest, the Phillies proved tonight the slump has not ended.

Charlie Manuel needs to make changes with this team and edit his constant managing mistakes.

He is an excellent player’s manager. Every player in the Phillies clubhouse gives 110 percent for Manuel and his staff every game.

The players like his laid-back style and his refusal to put more pressure on them than is already there.

Manuel has done wonders for this organization.

Still, he is one of the worst in-game managers in all of Major League Baseball. He continues to use the wrong players in crucial situations.

The Phillies are down 1-0 and need a base-runner in the eighth inning to turn the lineup around for Shane Victorino (their best clutch hitter).

Manuel decides to pitch-hit Roy Halladay for Greg Dobbs.

Dobbs is the worst hitter on the team and is batting .140 on the season going into this at-bat. He grounds out on a weak swing to third base, ending the inning.

Instead of Dobbs hitting, why not use Brian Schneider? He is batting .241 and has the ability to get on base with a single or pull the ball over the right field wall which would tie the game.

With Manuel’s error, the inning is over and Roy Halladay is out of the game. He could have hit the ball Dobbs hit to third base.

In a bizarre move just five minutes later, Manuel decides to put Danys Baez in the game. Baez has a 4.50 ERA and is good to give up a run almost every time he comes in. He is the right pitcher to put in a game when the score is 10-0, not 1-0.

As a result, Baez gave up a home run to Dan Uggla, doubling the Marlins’ lead. With the way the Phillies were hitting, the chances of them tying the game almost became impossible.

Manuel continues to make the same mistakes at least once a week. These mistakes cause the Phillies a chance to tie and possibly win a ballgame.

Manuel needs to change something with this team right now. The lineup would be a good start.

The Phillies have too many players that cannot hit in the spot they are in. Manuel needs to stop being patient with them and change things up.

A change in the order would help this team and ruin the scouting reports for the opponent.

Another change Manuel needs to make is to stop giving players a day off when the team has an off day the next day.

Manuel has put Ben Francisco, Greg Dobbs, Wilson Valdez, and Brian Schneider in the same lineup too many games. There is no reason for Jayson Werth, Chase Utley, or Raul Ibanez to sit out a game when the Phillies have the next day off for travel.

Finally, Manuel needs to keep this team loose.

He should get them away from baseball for a day and have them relax on a day off.

The Phillies are pressing to score runs, which makes it harder to score when a team is in a slump.

If Charlie Manuel cuts down the in-game mistakes and changes things up in the clubhouse, the Phillies will be back to playing like the two-time defending National League champions.

If he keeps managing the same way, Phillies fans could be in the middle of witnessing the biggest disappointment in Philadelphia sports history.

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Philadelphia Phillies Offense Gets a Shot at Revenge Against Red Sox Pitching

Red Sox pitching, of course, refers to just two men:

Daisuke Matsuzaka and Tim Wakefield.

Remember how both those guys dominated the Phillies at Citizens Bank Park three weeks ago over a span of 18 hours?

Well, both righthanders will be out to repeat their wizardry of the Phillies this weekend, while the Phillies will be given a shot at redemption, a chance for revenge.

Daisuke pitches this Saturday against Joe Blanton (4 p.m., FOX), Wakefield will be opposed by Cole Hamels on Sunday (1:30 p.m., TBS).

 

Dice-K and Wake Did it Once…

If the Phillies were actually capable of beating the Red Sox in a three-game series since the days of Veterans Stadium astroturf, then their meeting in Philly last month was the absolute perfect time.

Everything was lined up just right from for them, especially when considering the pitching matchups.

The Phils wouldn’t be facing Boston’s two best starters (Jon Lester and Clay Buccholz) while the Sox would be facing the Phillies’ two best (Roy Halladay and Hamels).

After Hamels dazzled the Sox lineup and the Phillies made Boston’s John Lackey sweat out 107 pitches in five innings for an eventual 5-1 win in the Friday night series opener, Philadelphia seemed poised to take the series.

After all, Boston’s starting pitchers in Games Two and Three, Matsuzaka and Wakefield, entered the weekend with a combined two wins in 10 starts and a 6.21 ERA during 2010.

Teams were teeing off against these guys all season, but the Phillies wound up barely settling for singles. Dice-K and Wake combined to shut out the Phils on six hits in 16 total innings.

The Phillies offensive woes actually began before Boston even came to town, three days earlier on May 18 when Pittsburgh’s highly ineffective Zach Duke beat them, 2-1. But Dice-K’s dominance on May 22 marked the first of 12 straight games that the Phillies failed to generate more than three runs.

 

Can They Do it Again?

No. It’s unrealistic to expect the Phillies to be shut out by both pitchers…again.

Why?

Dice-K and Wake aren’t that good…then again neither is the Phillies offense right now.

These two guys haven’t exactly been the American League equivalents of Ubaldo Jimenez and Josh Johnson so far in 2010.

Still, Matsuzaka has pitched well since one-hitting the Phils. He’s 2-1 with a 2.79 ERA in his last three starts, highlighted by eight shutout innings against the lowly Indians in his most recent start.

Of course, Dice-K has the propensity to be very wild. On May 27, against Kansas City, Matsuzaka threw 112 pitched and walked EIGHT in just 4.2 innings. The Phillies, who have slipped to 10th in the NL in total walks, will need to be patient.

Wakefield is 1-2 with an 8.47 ERA in his three starts since facing the Phils. He suffered through two horrific outings against the Royals and A’s before pitching 7.2 innings and allowing just one earned run in his last start in Cleveland.

Over the last month, Philly has had a knack for making ordinary pitchers look like Cy Youngs. But surely the Phils will do much better in their second encounter with these guys. They have to, right?

Then again, considering how the Phils offense has looked since the last time they faced the guys from Beantown, maybe we shouldn’t be expecting too much.

Oh, by the way, the Phillies are 5-16 against Boston since 2004, so some long-awaited payback is very much overdue.

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Beasts of the NL East: 10 Young Stars to Freak Out the Phillies

Hey there, Phillies fans, I am not sure if you heard but the Washington Nationals had a young pitcher (I’ve got his name here somewhere) make his major league debut on Tuesday and he pitched pretty well.

The youngster (again, his name in a second) struck out 14 batters in 7.0 innings, throwing a dominant curveball, a fastball that regularly hit 99 mph, and a changeup and slider that were simply baffling.

Now Phillies fans, I’ve sure you’ve heard all about this guy, but what you may not have realized is that he isn’t the only youngster coming up in the NL East division.

Indeed, the NL East has become a veritable hot-bed of young future superstars; unfortunately, they are all playing on teams other than the Philadelphia Phillies.

Let’s have a look at the top 10 young superstars-in-the-making in the NL East, including ol’ what’s-his-name.

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