One Prediction for Every Philadelphia Phillies Player on the Opening Day Roster

Predictions are fun, but that is all they are. If you have the gift of seeing the future, use it for good after you are satisfied that you have made enough money in the stock market.

So these are predictions on Phillies players for 2013. Some will be lighthearted, some will be serious, but all of them should be taken as exercises in fun and nothing more.

As readers here often point out, my knowledge of Phillies baseball is pretty limited, anyway.

Mike Adams: 30 holds. A huge improvement over Philly’s eighth innings in 2012.

Phillippe Aumont: Continued problems with strikeout-to-walk ratio.

Antonio Bastardo: To be trusted with and to lose the eighth-inning situational lefty job again.

Domonic Brown: A 20-20-20 season: 20 home runs, 20 stolen bases, 20 errors.

Chad Durbin: Five different occasions this season where Chris Wheeler, Larry Andersen or Tom McCarthy refers to him as “Chad Qualls.”

Kevin Frandsen: A borderline shocking number of late-inning appearances in place of Michael Young for defensive purposes.

Freddy Galvis: A borderline shocking number of late-inning appearances in place of Chase Utley for defensive purposes.

Roy Halladay: Only 140 innings and an earned run average over five. But I hope I’m wrong.

Cole Hamels: A 20-win season that leads the Phillies to a one-game playoff to get into the one-game National League Wild Card playoff.

Jeremy Horst: By September, Horst and not Bastardo will be sharing eighth-inning duties with Adams.

Ryan Howard: A rich man’s Adam Dunn: 40 home runs, 110 runs batted in, .225 average.

Ender Inciarte: A ticket to Lehigh Valley as soon as Delmon Young is healthy enough to play.

Kyle Kendrick: A career high in wins (he only needs 12 to get there.)

Erik Kratz: By late April, the cries for Carlos Ruiz will be deafening.

John Lannan: A surprisingly effective season with double-digit wins and single-digit losses.

Cliff Lee: A 23-win season in which Hamels and Lee never lose back-to-back starts.

John Mayberry, Jr.: Hitting .197, traded at midseason for a player to be named later.

Laynce Nix: Hitting .198, traded at midseason for a player to be named later.

Jonathan Papelbon: 40-plus saves and an earned run average under three.

Humberto Quintero: A ticket to Lehigh Valley as soon as Carlos Ruiz’s suspension is over.

Ben Revere: The Phillies’ offensive most valuable player with 175 hits, 110 runs and 50 steals.

Jimmy Rollins: Quiet, stable leadership with double digits in doubles, home runs and steals.

Chase Utley: A somehow-now-he’s-healthy Utley (in a contract year) hits 20 home runs and drives in 75 with 15 steals.

Raul Valdes: Twenty appearances in which he faces only one left-handed batter; 18 of those batters will be retired.

Michael Young: By September, Young will be hitting better than .300, but he will have twice as many errors as home runs.

Somehow, this is all going to add up to 87 wins.

You would take that, right?

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