Philadelphia Phillies: Cole Hamels Steals Show at Shane Victorino Charity Event

Shane Victorino held another fashion show for a great cause, but it was pitcher Cole Hamels who stole the show. 

Dan Gross of The Philadelphia Daily News reports on Victorino holding his third annual fashion show to benefit the Shane Victorino Foundation. 

The Union League was filled with stars helping the foundation whose mission statement is,”dedicated to promoting opportunities for underserved youth. The Foundation engages in projects which provide children in need with educational, recreational and wellness programs.”

This year, current Phillies and their families were joined by the likes of Bernard Hopkins and Joe Piscopo. 

The night belonged to Hamels who wore this ensemble which is now the talk of the fashion world. Okay, it’s merely the talk of people who consider capris and highly-cuffed pants to be rather silly. 

Hamels is making a habit of creating the fashion stir. Last year when he, as The Big Lead put it, embraced his inner Ace Ventura. 

I think he really sets the bar high with his bright-red high water pants. Those things could be more red, but not by much. 

From a sports land filled with emerging hipsters, I would expect this wardrobe to feature on a podium shortly. 

Of course, the event was without Chase Utley who continues to rehab with what I like to describe as crappy knee syndrome. 

His wonderful wife, Jennifer, was escorted by the Phillie Phanatic down the catwalk. 

That video should serve to remind other, younger Phanatics that you too can grow up to be a dapper superstar. 

Another night of fun and frivolity was had, and Hamels once again hit it out of the park. 

Follow me on Twitter for one hell of a good time. 

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Phillie Phanatic Being Sued by Woman for Pool-Throwing Fiasco

The Phillie Phanatic has been a very bad boy.

At least that is what one woman is claiming after the Phanatic allegedly tossed her in a pool and caused her severe bodily harm. 

Oh boy.

I will walk a fine line in this article, so forgive me if I teeter over the precipice. I am being balanced on one side by my hatred for grown men in mascot uniforms generally creeping me out. On the other is my skepticism of the claim. 

Like a nice steak dinner, let’s work on the meat of this thing first. 

The Philadelphia Daily News picked up a report from the Courthouse News Services on a woman who is undoubtedly frustrated with mascots, pools and being thrown by one into the other right about now. 

Suzanne Peirce alleges the Phillie Phanatic, a great big green thing that tries to take people’s minds off Chase Utley, picked her up, as well as the lounge chair she was resting on, and threw them both in a nearby pool. 

The suit alleges the Phanatic lost his mind on July 17th, 2010 as Peirce was enjoying her sister’s wedding at The Golden Inn in Avalon. 

Let me state that Peirce’s claims are quite serious. 

Peirce claims she hurt just about everything in the incident, including suffering “severe and permanent injuries to her head, neck, back, body, arms and legs, bones, muscles, tendons, ligaments, nerves and tissues …” and more. The pool did have water in it, attorney Aaron Denker said, though Peirce was tossed in the shallow end.

As for who is being sued, Peirce is targeting Tom Burgoyne, Matt Mehler and anyone else who may have been wearing the Phanatic suit. 

In fact, I am sure she would lob a suit at anyone who dressed up as the Phillie Phanatic for Halloween if she could. 

The report continues: 

A Phillies spokeswoman said the team was aware of the lawsuit and does not believe the Phanatic engaged in wrongful conduct…

The lawsuit does not mention specific dollar amounts, but claims Peirce has spent large sums of money on medicine and medical attention and has also suffered from “humiliation and loss of life’s pleasures.”

Let me dial it back just a bit, because if Peirce was indeed hurt as much as she claims, she deserves every penny she is after. 

I just can’t fathom a situation where ligaments, bones, muscles and emotions were irreparably destroyed by being thrown into a pool. 

If so, I need to sue my father, brother, friends and every last person who has thrown my fat ass into a pool over the years. 

As for the Phanatic, he seems to be doing just fine, as his performance recently with Paula Abdul suggests. 

For those not wanting to test the waters (pun intended), please walk the other way if you see the Phanatic walking down the street. 

And for the love of all that is holy, run if you happen to be next to a pool. 

 

Follow me on Twitter for a humdinger of a time. 

Follow @gabezal

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Roy Halladay Finds Time to Save Boy from Anaconda During MLB Offseason

The Philadelphia Phillies may want a word with their star pitcher Roy Halladay, who is apparently off saving lives in the Amazon. 

The 700 Level reports Halladay was in Brazil for a fishing trip when he went all Superman and saved a little boy from a dangerous anaconda. 

Now for the reality portion of this tall tale. Doc Halladay was allegedly on a fishing trip with buddies and the group towed home a boy in need. 

The local boy had been bitten by an anaconda but was able to fight of the extremely dangerous snake. The report comes from a blog entry written by fishing legend Skeet Reese. His photo can be seen below.

Halladay just finished off another fine year. I mean, it’s not saving lives, but a 2.35 ERA and 19 wins is pretty substantial pitching. Now we have to bring the fairy tale of Halladay with a machete in his teeth playing Indiana Jones to an end.  

Reese goes on to describe what is neither gruesome nor scary. It may be that Reese is such a bad ass that seeing a boy fending off an anaconda is no big deal. Trust me, if we ever needed to describe such an event, it would be littered with four-letter words. 

“We had plenty of wildlife encounters though. Along with the fishing, we decided to go hunting one night…Me and Doc Halladay even came across a local, sitting bare naked on a tree by the river. What we were able to figure out is that he was fishing in the river for tropical fish to sell for aquariums when he got attacked by an anaconda.

The snake apparently bit him on the ass but he was able to free himself before the snake wrapped him up. Instead the snake wrapped around his motor on the back of his little 14 foot dugout canoe and tore it off the back of his boat. Doc and I helped him gather his gear and flip the boat back over and then towed him home. You could definitely see the bite mark on his ass, but he was able to fight it off; amazing.”

So the story that began with a boy fighting off a killer beast has now grown into Phillies pitcher Roy Halladay tearing off his clothes and showing his superhero costume. 

I have no doubt that Halladay and his buddies played a crucial part in all this, but let’s get an award for this local that just thwarted death. I get squeamish when there is a spider on my wall. 

I am sure the Phillies front office considers this story a real hoot. All they need is for one of their best players to get eaten by a large animal. I think they are getting an email to send to Halladay that reads, “Stay away from Anacondas.” 

That will probably include watching the movie Anaconda. Which is just good life advice, actually. 

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