The Most Important Position in Professional Sports: Fan
November 3, 2009 by geoff crawley
Filed under Fan News
I was talking about the Phillies’ chances in the World Series last week at work. I told a co-worker, “I think we have a good chance of sweeping the Yankees.” (Obviously, that was wrong, but that isn’t the point here.)
His reply was, “We? What position do you play?”
“I play fan,” I said.
I used to think the same way. People who say “we” when talking about their sports teams are a little too attached. It is not “we.” We are not a part of the team.
Or are we?
I now say that fan is the most important position in professional sports. I am not naive enough to say that we directly pay the players’ salaries. But without us, how much do you think FOX would pay Major League Baseball for national television rights?
If we don’t watch, how much do you think Bud Light would be paying FOX for commercial time? If we don’t watch, how much do you think Citizens Bank would have paid for rights to name the Phillies’ new stadium?
If we don’t watch, Alex Rodriguez is selling ladies shoes at Neiman Marcus.
If we don’t watch, Chase Utley is selling cars.
If we don’t watch, Cole Hamels is a barista at Starbucks. Maybe he should be anyway.
You think teams don’t listen to the fans?
They do.
Oh, don’t misunderstand, Andy Reid is not listening to Vinny from Palmyra (“Yo, dat McNabb is a bum, yous need to sign Tom Brady!”), but Reid knows that the fans want to win. Thus, he does what he thinks is best to achieve that goal. We may not always agree with his method, but he is trying.
We all want to win. Owners know this. They know we will buy less merchandise, and, in some cities, stop coming to games if our teams don’t win. (Hello, Jacksonville and Cincinnati.) The fans will hit you in the pocketbook if you continue to put out an inferior product.
Are you listening, Dan Snyder?
Probably not. But he is, I’m sure, aware of the discontent of his fans, because they are not coming to the games, which is costing him money. We know he is aware because he banned signs at FedEx Field, because, he says, they mar the experience of other fans.
Sure, Danno, not because of what the signs will say, but because they negatively influence the fan experience.
Teams fight all season for home field advantage. Why? Because we are there. We push them. We encourage them. We give them that extra burst to make that last pitch, or shot, or save, or pass.
The emotional outpouring after the Phillies’ World Series win last year was because of the fans’ long suffering drought. Player after player, coach after coach, executive after executive thanked the fans. Why?
Because without us, there is no game.
Not quarterback. Not goaltender. Not pitcher. Not point guard.
Fan.
Fan is the most important position in professional sports.
We win and lose, live and die with our teams. Yes, the players and coaches and owners care. But long after they are all gone, we will still be here.
We are the fans.
Read more Philadelphia Phillies news on BleacherReport.com
Brad Lidge Continues Relentless Pursuit Of Blown Saves Record
August 16, 2009 by geoff crawley
Filed under Fan News
With his Major League leading eighth blown save, Philadelphia Phillies closer Brad Lidge is ever closer to fulfilling his boyhood dream of being in the record books for most blown saves in a single season.
“When I was a youngster, I always dreamed of breaking records in baseball,” said Lidge, after literally throwing away a game with the Atlanta Braves. “But there was always one that was near to my heart, the holy grail; the single season blown saves record.”
The current record for blown saves in a single season is 14, held by four different players. The last pitcher to achieve the feat was the Minnesota Twins’ Ron Davis in 1984.
Lidge was visibly choked up when talking about the record.
“That was a magical year, 1984,” said Lidge wistfully. ”It takes a special kind of situation. You can’t just suck. You have to suck in a special way.
“Kind of like I do this year.”
Lidge was in danger of saving the Braves game Saturday.
With his Phillies leading 3-2 in the bottom of the ninth, it started off well enough for Lidge, with Braves OF Garret Anderson singling to right, just under the glove of Gold Glove second baseman Chase Utley.
“That was a break right there,” said Lidge.
Then, Matt Diaz laid down a bunt just to the right of Lidge. He had time to throw to second and start the double play.
“That went through my mind as I reached for the ball,” said Lidge. “But then I thought, the record!
“So, I bobbled the ball and threw it into right field. I had no choice, really.”
Anderson scored on the errant throw. Lidge, charged with two errors on the same play, knew his work was not done yet. He then walked the next two batters, one intentionally, then struck out Ryan Church.
“It was more dramatic that way,” he said.
Then, to the surprise of no one, Lidge left a slider over the plate that Omar Infante drove into left field for the win.
More importantly, for Lidge, he preserved the blown save.
“I really think I can do it if I get the opportunities,” said Lidge. “I’m glad Kim (Myers) hit (her husband and injured Phillies pitcher) Brett (Myers) in the eye like I asked her to. That should buy me a couple extra chances.”
When told that Kim denied that and that the Myers’ claimed that Brett fell out of his car, Lidge chuckled and said, “Sure, ok, whatever.”
“Six more to go. Wow, I can’t believe I am actually this close to history.”
With Brett Myers Returning Soon, a Dear Brad Conversation with Lidge
August 13, 2009 by geoff crawley
Filed under Fan News
It’s over. Brett Myers is coming back.
No, it’s cool, we know you’re a great guy and everything. It’s just that, well, you know, you really have been a terrible pitcher this year.
We can live with the major league leading seven blown saves. The law of averages says that’s probably about right with the perfect season last year. It really isn’t about the ERA either, really, although an ERA above seven is ridiculous.
No, it is the way you are blowing saves that concerns us, to the point where we need to end this now.
Your success is dependent on people chasing that nasty slider, because you can’t throw it for a strike. (Well, you can, but when you do, it gets hit hard.) People are on to this. They know that they can just wait out the sliders until you have to throw a fastball for a strike to hit, or a slider for a strike to hit, or continuous sliders off the plate or in the dirt until you walk them.
Let’s take Tuesday night in Chicago. You walked Kosuke Fukudome, who was then sacrificed to second. Behind in the count to Milton Bradley, you threw your slider over the plate, which, predictably, got smacked into center for a game-tying RBI single.
After the game, you wanted to focus on the walk. Regarding the pitches to Fukudome you said, “I guess I could have made them a little closer so they could be called strikes.”
Yes, Brad, you could have thrown them over the plate instead of trying to nibble. A pitcher working a perfect closing season gets those calls. A guy with six blown saves and an ERA north of a touchdown does not.
Look, you don’t have to explain. It’s not that we don’t love you, we do. You’re a great guy. It’s not you, it’s us. We just need more consistency, like Phillies’ pitching coach Rich Dubee says. You aren’t giving us what we need.
Look, Brad, don’t make this harder than it already is. It was fun, right? You can keep the ring. No, we insist. You can—wait, that’s our cell phone, hold on, we need to take this—hello? Hey, Brett, how’s it going?
You threw two simulated innings yesterday? No pain? You think you might be pitching in a rehab start within a week? Great! Hold on, what? Yes, he’s still here. We’re telling him now, hold on a second.
Look, Brad, we gotta go. Actually, you gotta go. Thanks again for last year. No, now. Goodbye, Brad.
Pedro Martinez to Make Rehab Start Versus Washington Nationals (Humor)
July 16, 2009 by geoff crawley
Filed under Fan News
Unable to locate a Double-A team with space on its schedule, the Philadelphia Phillies have secured the Washington Nationals as an opponent for newly signed pitcher Pedro Martinez’s rehab start next week.
“We want to ease Pedro back into the groove,” said Phillies general manager Ruben Amaro Jr. “We didn’t want him facing major league hitters until his arm strength gets to where he is comfortable.
“The Nationals are a perfect fit for that.”
Nationals pitcher John Lannan could not contain his excitement.
“What a thrill, to be on the same field as a major league team,” said Lannan. “It’s every kid’s dream to be on the field with actual major league ballplayers.
“Do you think (Phillies second baseman) Chase Utley will give me an autograph?”
The Nationals were resistant at first to playing at home, as they lose tens of thousands of dollars on every home game.
“An extra home game? No way,” said Nationals president Stan Kasten. “Why should we open the doors so 2,600 people can come in and cost us money again? We just laid off Manny Acta to save money.
“We’ll play in Philly if they pay for the train tickets.”
Martinez, surrounded by a phalanx of midgets and wearing armless sunglasses like Morpheus from The Matrix, displayed his usual cockiness.
“Look, I don’t care if these guys aren’t major leaguers. If I need to, I will drill them. Go dig up Frank Howard, I’ll drill him right in the (censored), too. If they want to cry, let them cry.
“There’s no crying in baseball,” Martinez added. He then began throwing peanuts to a small elephant he’d brought with him.
When told that Frank Howard wasn’t dead, Martinez began throwing peanuts at reporters.
The Mets were originally asked but were unavailable due to their malaria-curing world tour.
The Phillies Have to Trade For Roy Halladay? Not So Fast, My Friend
July 15, 2009 by geoff crawley
Filed under Fan News
Roy Halladay is the best pitcher in baseball.
Let’s get that out of the way right now.
It isn’t that he wouldn’t make the Phillies World Series favorites; he absolutely would.
But what would be the price?
If the Blue Jays were asking for a ham sandwich and Eric Bruntlett, this trade would be a no brainer. But they are not.
Toronto general manager J. P. Ricciardi says that he is looking to be “blown away.”
Remember, Halladay is under contract through the end of 2010, so it isn’t as if the Jays have to trade him now or risk losing him for nothing.
They are not desperate.
They just stink.
Therefore, it will require a king’s ransom to make this happen. Logic says that the Blue Jays will require a major league pitcher (it isn’t going to be Brett Myers, kiddies), plus at least two, possibly three, blue chip prospects to get this done.
Thus, for the Phillies, you are looking at JA Happ, Kyle Drabek, Michael Taylor, and possibly Jason Donald or Lou Marson.
Happ has been their most consistent pitcher this season.
Drabek has wowed everyone in baseball with his comeback from Tommy John surgery, and is penciled in as at least the number three starter next year.
Michael Taylor is a legitimate five tool stud who may be an all-star for the next ten years.
Frankly, Donald and Marson are very good players, but not as good as those three,
Still, Marson is likely to be a very good catcher, and those don’t grow on trees. Donald is stuck until Jimmy Rollins leaves, so he is definitely tradeable.
Oh, and for those thinking that a package of Carlos Carrasco, Kyle Kendrick, Donald, and Marson will get it done, you are dreaming.
Not gonna happen.
The Blue Jays are not going to make that trade, sorry Charlie.
The fact of the matter is, with the addition of Pedro Martinez, the Phillies are good enough to win as constructed.
If you were told before the season that at the all-star break, the Phillies would be leading the division by four games with two games in hands, you would take that, wouldn’t you?
What if you were told that Pedro Martinez was going to be added to the rotation?
Would you take that?
In a heartbeat and that is where they stand.
They are hitting as well as they have all season. They are coming off one of their best homestands ever, and have a chance to bury the Marlins this week.
Now, they have a three-time Cy Young winning, World Series Champion, and future hall of famer taking the mound once every five days.
Is Martinez what he once was?
No but for the first time since early in 2006, he is healthy and his head is clear. His fastball is as good as it has been in years. He has a chip on his shoulder for not being signed until now.
Most importantly, he didn’t require the Phillies to gut their farm system to come aboard.
Remember 2008, when everyone was screaming for the Phillies to get the best pitcher available, CC Sabathia?
Remember that they got Joe Blanton instead?
Remember that the Brewers gutted their farm system to get Sabathia?
Sabathia and the Brewers went to the playoffs. Blanton and the Phillies got a ring.
It says here it happens again wiithout Roy Halladay.
Philadelphia Beats Cincinnati By Three Touchdowns (SATIRE)
July 7, 2009 by geoff crawley
Filed under Fan News
In a laugher, the Philadelphia Phillies beat the Cincinnati Reds by three touchdowns last night, 22-1, led by a stunning 95-yard interception return for one of the touchdowns by cornerback Shane Victorino.
Phillies quarterback Cole Hamels threw for 275 yards and a touchdown before giving way to backup QB Scott Eyre. Kevin Kolb was unavailable.
“I was really in the zone tonight,” said Hamels, who completed 17 of 20 passes with no interceptions. “The protection was amazing, and how about that catch and run by (Philadelphia Tight End) Ryan (Howard)?”
Hamels was referring to the one-handed second quarter grab by Howard at the Cincinnati 30-yard line, after which he spun past one defender, ran through another, and dragged four more the final 15 yards into the end zone.
“Nothing happens if Cole doesn’t make that throw, man,” said Howard. “Cincinnati has a great defense. (Cincinnati linebacker Joey) Votto had great coverage on me, Cole just made a perfect throw. He took just enough off it, almost like a pitcher throwing a change up.”
Reds wide receiver Jonny Gomes snapped at a reporter who asked what happened on Victorino’s pick six.
“Look, I don’t know how many times I have to tell you guys, my last name is Tres Uno. Write it down if your are too dumb to remember it. Tres Uno.”
When it was pointed out that “Tres Uno” means Three One and not 31, Gomes came completely unglued.
“You guys write whatever the [bleep] you want alright? I don’t throw the ball. I’m wide open in the end zone, next thing I know, the Hawaiian is Flyin’ the other way. Talk to (Cincinnati quarterback) Johnny (Cueto) if you wanna know what happened. And I will no longer respond to anything but Tres Uno. Or Tres.”
Perhaps the real reason the Reds were so upset may have been Phillies coach Charlie Manuel’s decision to go for two after Jayson Werth’s 85 yard TD reception on a halfback option from Jimmy Rollins.
“Completely bush,” said head coach Dusty Baker. “You would think that World Champions would know better than that. What reason would you need to go for two when I have (Punter Paul) Janish in at quarterback so I don’t get guys hurt? None.
“I lost a lot of respect for Charlie Manuel tonight.”
When told of Baker’s comments, Manuel replied, “I’m not gonna get into all of that. Injuries, uh, we came out of that game pretty good, uh, nothing major, we were able to get (free safety) Chase (Utley) and Ryan out early, uh, Jimmy is a little tired after, uh, running for 225 yards and throwing that TD to, uh, Jayson. Time’s yours.”
It was unclear how the Reds scored one point.
Barack Obama to Mets: “Go Cure Malaria Like You Cured the Phillies” (Satire)
July 5, 2009 by geoff crawley
Filed under Fan News
After watching the New York Mets be swept by the Philadelphia Phillies again, President Barack Obama made his boldest move yet of his young presidency.
“The New York Mess, er, Mets have been declared as ‘The Cure For What Ails You,'” said Obama to an emergency session of the United Nations. “Therefore, it is with great pride that we are sending them on a worldwide tour to cure malaria.
“Look, if they can cure the Phillies, they can cure anything.”
The announcement was met by thunderous applause, especially in sub-Saharan Africa, Southeast Asia, and Queens.
“Anyting to get dese bums outta here,” said Nicky from Yonkers on WFAN. “Just don’t let dat mamaluke (Mets second baseman Luis) Castillo near anyting important. He’ll drop it.”
“Castillo, you suck!” he added.
Zambian President Rupiah Banda said that the Mets will be greeted with open arms.
“These great heroes will save the lives of thousands of Zambian children,” said Banda from behind a mosquito net emblazoned with the Mets’ logo. “The fact that they can’t hit, field, or give any run support to one of the greatest pitchers in the league today means all the world to us.”
“Anybody that can break (Phillies shortstop Jimmy) Rollins out of the worst slump of his career can certainly deal with something as simple as malaria.”
“Let’s Go Mets!” he added, clapping rhythmically.
Rollins whole-heartedly supported the plan as well.
“As long as they come back before our next series with them, I’m all for it,” said Rollins, who entered the three game series with only one hit in his last, like, million at-bats. “They certainly cured my slump.”
“Forget fat girls, the Mets are the real slump-busters.”
Mets pitcher Johan Santana balked at first. “Hey, look, I do my part. I can’t help it that this bullpen is incapable of holding a lead, and that Luis (Castillo) can’t catch a cold standing in a hospital room full of feverish three year olds. I’m not going.”
Santana later relented when reminded that he gave up Rollins’ first home run since the Reagan Administration.
Even Brad Lidge, who has an ERA over 7.00, picked up two saves in the series. “Yeah, my head hasn’t been right all year,” said Lidge, who wasn’t even sweating after striking out the side in the ninth to earn his sixteenth save of the year, even though he has blown six saves—some in spectacular fashion—this season.
“I really wasn’t sure if I would ever pitch effectively again in the majors. I thank my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ for the New York Mets, and those malaria stricken people soon will also.”
It is reported that Pamela Anderson is currently in negotiations to have the Mets come to her house to cure her after they are done with malaria.