As Phils Clinch Series Berth, TBS Presses Torre to Name Game Six Starter

Despite the Philadelphia Phillies seemingly ending the National League Championship Series in a brief and dominant five games, TBS is pushing Los Angeles Dodger manager Joe Torre to name a Game Six starting pitcher.  

“You really never know. The Dodgers are such a fantastic team and have come back so many times this year, ” TBS play-by-play man and legacy hire Chip Caray said, “it would make a lot of baseball sense to do it.” 

When reminded that in fact, the Phillies just won to go to their second straight World Series, Caray replied, “Yeah, but LA plays all 27 outs and you really have to respect that.” 

Caray was far from alone in his view, “(Dodger Manager) Joe (Torre) should really know better,” Caray’s partner Buck Martinez said with his grating metal scraping on concrete voice, “pitchers like to know when they’re pitching and this LA fight likes a bunch of hungry street kids.”  

Martinez even went one step further, “Hey when this series started I picked LA and I stand by my prediction. We’re talking about a team that was second in the National League in comeback wins. You just can’t count them out.”

Second to the Phillies, it might be added. 

When pressed at his somber post game press conference, Torre seemed incredulous, “Did you just ask me who I’m starting in Game Six?,” the cagey veteran manager replied with all the media savvy eleven years in New York can give you. 

TBS sideline reporter and habitual drunk dresser, Craig Sager caught up with Dodger starter Randy Wolf after the game and asked him if he wanted the ball for Game Six. Wolf replied with a terse, “Go f— yourself retard,” further complicating the LA pitching predicament and the TBS mindset.  

Even after Philadelphia first baseman Ryan Howard, who hit .333 with 2HRs and 8 RBIs for the series, was named NLCS MVP and handed the actual trophy, the intrepid TBS crew soldiered on. 

“Awards and trophies and all that are fine but winning in the post season is really what it’s all about,” Caray’s other partner Ron Darling said. “And right now it looks like the Phillies are too worried about making speeches and accepting trophies. I really think the Dodgers have them right where they want them.” 

Martinez could barely contain his agreement with Darling but continued to openly question the managing tactics of Torre, “He really did himself a disservice tonight by giving the quick hook to Padilla and running through that bullpen they way he did. He really acted like this was an elimination game or something.” 

“Great point Buck,” Darling added in agreement, “Torre definitely panicked tonight.” 

Incredibly, even as Chip Caray was getting blinded with champagne and pelted with empty 16-ounce cans of Bud Light by Phillies players and front office personnel, he kept at it. “I’m happy for Philly, I really am. But all this celebrating is bound to take it’s toll. All I know is that TBS will be in LA on Saturday, ready for baseball and ready for this explosive Dodger offense to take flight.” 

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