These 2009 Dodgers Are Not What Phillies Experienced In 2008

Every baseball fan knows the history: The Philadelphia Phillies, on their way to an eventual World Series title, in the 2008 NLDS series, beat the Los Angeles Dodgers in five games of the best-of-seven series.

That was last year. The two teams meet again in the 2009 NLCS.

The Dodgers’ top hitter, Manny Ramirez (.290, 19 homers, 63 RBI), was not the same player he was a year ago, but Andre Ethier led the Dodgers in home runs (31) and RBI (106). Add Matt Kemp, who had 26 home runs and 101 RBI, and you have some impressive power in the middle of the lineup.

The Rockies, who the Phillies beat in the NLDS, meanwhile, had no player with 100 RBI. Troy Tulowitzki led the Rockies with 92 RBI.

The Phillies had one player with more than 100 RBI, Ryan Howard (141). But three Phillies had 90 RBI or more: Jayson Werth (99), Chase Utley (93) and Raul Ibanez (93). The same four players all had 30 home runs or more, with Howard leading the way with 45 homers.

Player by player, these teams are even.

Howard/Ramirez, Werth/Eithier, Kemp/Ibanez, Utley/Rafeal Furcal are similar in ability and production numbers.

The Dodgers swept the Cardinals in part by not letting Albert Pujos beat them. The Phillies are too deep offensively to make that an effective move by Dodgers manager Joe Torre.

I think the Phillies starters are better than the Dodgers.

The Dodgers’ staff is Clayton “Chinstrap” Kershaw, Randy Wolf, Vincente Padilla, Chad Billingsley and Jon Garland.

The Phillies counter with Cole Hamels, Cliff Lee, Joe Blanton, J.A. Happ or Pedro Martinez.

The Dodgers have the edge in the bullpen. Closer Jonathan Broxton (36 saves) anchors a bullpen that had a 3.14 ERA.

For the Phillies, Brad Lidge collected two saves in the divisional series, but had a horrible regular season with 11 blown saves. The Phillies bullpen may get a boost with the possibility of Chan Ho Park’s return.

The Dodgers’ pitching staff held the high-powered St. Louis offense to six runs in its three-game NLDS sweep. Kershaw is the stud of the staff with an 8-8 record and a 2.79 ERA.

The Phillies chances lay on the postseason dominance of Cole Hamels (pictured.)

Along with Cliff Lee, who had an outstanding NLDS, Hamels return could spell another Phillies trip to the World Series. A shutdown of the Dodgers offense would spell a Phillies win.

That is a lot of ifs by the Phillies, starting with the bullpen and Hamels, who recently became a first-time father. Hamels had an average season, going 10-11 in the regular season.

Anything is possible and the Phillies showed their comeback ability in the regular season and the last two games of the NLDS.

The Dodgers won the regular season head-to-to head, four games to three, highlighted by two Ethier walk-off home runs against the Phillies, June 5 and 6.

The Phillies led the majors with 43 comeback wins, while the Dodgers had had 42.

Two high powered offenses should make for an impressive show.

But this isn’t 2008.

The Phillies return as defending World Series champions, while the Dodgers can draw from their 2008 championship round experience. 

As much as it hurts me, as a Phillies fan, the facts point to a Dodgers’ series win.

I think even Matt Stairs’ bat is a bit slower. It seems to me that Jim Thome is more likely to hit a go-ahead home run than Stairs.

But then again, I am not Charlie Manuel.

Thank goodness.

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‘Cuse Me: Um, Yankees, TBS, Can the Phillies Play Now?

I saw and heard the strangest thing early Monday morning.

At about 2 a.m. EDT Monday, I saw a stadium full of about 50,000 people strangely quiet. No, I did not wake out of a sound sleep. It was not a religious function and the preacher was giving a sermon.

Nope.

It was a freakin’ baseball game.

Much of the East coast was asleep, my wife was asleep, my daughter, who didn’t have school the next day, went to bed in the fifth innning and my cat was asleep.

The quiet on TV? It was dismayed Rockies fans who watched Houston Street give up the go-head run in the top of the ninth inning.

Ryan Howard’s sacrifice fly in the top of the ninth inning, at nearly 2 a.m. EST Monday, gave the Phillies a 6-5 win over the Colorado Rockies to take a 2-1 lead in the best-of-three NLDS series.

“Big sigh” my buddy texted me at 2:15 a.m. Monday, Oct. 12 after the last out of the game.

To say the least, he is not a big Brad Lidge fan anymore. Lidge followed the Phillies go-ahead run in the top of the ninth by allowing the tying and go-ahead runs to reach base before finally closing out the game.

But more disturbing than Lidge’s struggles is TBS’s coverage of this game and this series on the whole.

When I turned on TBS at 10:07 p.m. Sunday, I saw the Yankees-Twins game was not over. The crawl said to go over to TNT network.

About the third inning, the an announcer came on TNT and said that coverage would continue on TBS. Well done, nice transition.

Bud Selig and network officials did get their nose out of New York and Boston’s, em, rear posterior on Saturday afternoon to call Game Three in Colorado because of snow.

Only one inch fell, but the call was clearly about the cold, with wind chills in the upper teens.

It warmed up to the upper 20s or lower 30s and little wind on Sunday, so game on.

Now wouldn’t it make sense to put the weekend games in the afternoon, when the sun was shining and temperatures would be higher? Nope. College and NFL football are the TV kings, respectively during the weekend.

Selig’s guidance in the postseason this year is not so mind-boggling on its own. However, for Phillies’ fans, it feels a lot like when Selig suspended a rain-plagued Game Five in the 2008 World Series.

To go back briefly, he could have postponed the game when the Phillies led by a run in the bottom of the fifth inning. Nope, he had to wait until the Rays tied the game in the sixth to call the game.

So this year, Game One and Two of Phillies-Rockies were played Wednesday and Thursday afternoon, when most fans are at work, and then again Sunday night, starting when children and adults normally go to bed for the next day’s work.

Let me ask you: Who is the defending World Series champion?

I thought you knew.

What are the bigger television markets? New York, Los Angeles, and Boston.

Well, (blank) me.

I remember as a youth, running home to catch the Mets and Orioles playing in the 1969 World Series.

Baseball was pure then. Bowie Kuhn was the baseball commissioner and the game, not the television advertising dollar, was king.

If you are falling asleep reading this, so was my buddy mid-game early Monday morning.

“Happy Monday,” I wrote another buddy at 12:04 a.m. Monday.

“I fell asleep. Talk to u tomorrow night. Go Phils!” he wrote back.

I turned my texting to my other buddy, who works in the media and probably picked up the game after work.

In the top of the sixth, Carlos Ruiz hit an RBI single to put the Phillies up 5-4.

“Chooch,” I texted my buddy, recounting Ruiz’s nickname.

“He’s your boy!” received at 12:22 a.m.

Troy Tulowitzki’s sacrifice fly tied the game in the bottom of the seventh.

Since Ryan Madson pitched in the seventh inning, he was not available to save the game.

Charlie Manuel only had Lidge to close in the bottom of the ninth with the Phillies holding a 6-5 lead.

Lidge got Brad Hawpe to ground out on a 1-0 pitch for the first out.

Lidge walked Carlos Gonzalez on six pitches. With Jason Giambi at the plate, Gonzalez stole second.

Giambi popped out to third for the second out.

Manuel visited Lidge and apparently a pitch around was suggested, as Lidge walked Todd Helton on five pitches.

The strategy must have worked as Lidge got Troy Tulowitki to fly out to left field.

Ball game.

“Hell, yes,” I wrote to my friend at 2:15 a.m. Monday.

Game Four in Colorado is at 6:07 p.m. EDT. Cliff Lee faces Ubaldo Jimenez in a Game One rematch with the Phillies winning, 5-1.

The Phillies can close out the series with a win, while the Rockies have to win in Colorado and come back and win in Philadelphia.

For one time, the next two games can be played at “normal” times, because it is the final games of the division series. No one else is playing in this round.

And if the Phillies win the World Series again this year and in 2010, and the Yankees, Red Sox, and Angels are in the playoffs, who gets the prime time television spots?

I thought so.

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Phils’ Pedro Martinez No Stranger to Pressure in Game Three NLDS

AUTHOR’S NOTE: MARTINEZ’S SCHEDULE START ON SATURDAY WAS POSTPONED DUE TO SNOW. J.A. HAPP IS DUE TO START SUNDAY. MARTINEZ MAY OR MAY NOT START IN THE BALANCE OF THIS SERIES OR BE MOVED TO THE BULLPEN.

The year is 1999 and in the deciding game of the ALDS, Boston Red Sox pitcher Pedro Martinez enters an 8-8 game in the fourth inning in the contest against the Cleveland Indians.

As baseball fans know, Martinez pitched six no-hit innings, as the Red Sox won the game 12-8.

In the American League Championship Series, he pitched seven shutout innings to give the Red Sox their only win in the championship series against the Yankees.

The Yankees beat the Red Sox, four games to one, then swept the Atlanta Braves to win their 25th World Series title.

Martinez won the Cy Young Award that year, one of three such honors for the sure-fire Hall of Fame right-hander.

Fast forward 10 years later and in August, Martinez, after almost a year away from baseball, joins the defending World Series champion Philadelphia Phillies.

The highlight of his body of work in the regular season was a 1-0 eight-inning win on Sept. 13 against the Mets.

He has started only two games since, throwing 140 pitches in seven innings. He allowed six runs on 13 hits, two of them home runs in the division-clinching game against Houston on Sept. 30.

He is set to be the Game Three starter for Manager Charlie Manuel in a frigid Colorado night, with the Phillies and the Rockies knotted up at one game a piece.

It’s 10 years later, and it would be foolish to expect the same production out of Martinez.

But here is my assessment. He is a big-game pitcher and loves the big stage. For as much as he smiles and jokes around with teammates and the media, he is all business on the mound.

Expect six to seven good innings from Martinez. The over/under line, in my mind, on runs allowed should be two. I hope for better than that and also hope for no more than that.

It is quite possible that the Phillies could lose the game 2-0. But I believe the Phils will follow Martinez’s lead and manufacture a few runs.

I believe in Charlie Manuel and am not worried going into this game.

It sure is not 2008 for the Phillies. But it also is not 2007 for the Phillies, when they got swept by the Rockies, three games to none.

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Phillies Fans Celebrate Team’s Successful Return to Baseball Playoffs

The early morning rain had faded, but a strong wind remained as I prepared to go to my first Phillies game since Jul. 9, 2008.

A veteran of Opening Day in Philadelphia, my good buddy was meeting me to go to see the opening round game of the Phillies vs. the Colorado Rockies today, Oct. 7 at Citizens Bank Park in Philadelphia.

I arrived first and attended a pre-game rally, shown above. The Phillie Phanatic was on stage, as well as the band and several young ladies in Phillies gear. The Phanatic shot Phillies gear out of a long-nose funnel gun into the crowd.

The sun was shining and the mood was good. I was ready for some baseball.

My cell phone went off as I got away from the din of the music and cheering and it was my friend. He said to meet me at the Mike Schmidt statue.

When he arrived, he went through the tickets; he said: “I can’t believe I did this.”

He split season tickets with another coworker at a Philadelphia television news station and had pairs of tickets for the NLDS Game Three in Philadelphia (which would be Game Five of the NLDS) and Game One of the NLCS. No tickets for NLDS Game One, which was Wednesday.

Most of the scalpers were looking for tickets and the ones that had them wanted too much money.

For this purpose, we were not interested in buying from scalpers.

“Let me tell you something,” said one scalper. “If a dude sells you two tickets, take one and ask him to walk you to the gate. The other fellow stays back with the money.”

Anyway, the game: We went to a local sports bar located three blocks away, Chickies and Petes. Never made it inside CBP.

Crab Fries, crab legs, and muscles on the table and we hunkered down for the game amid other Phillie faithful.

“Bo,” I said to my friend. “When Cliff Lee is on, he is like Carlton.”

Steve Carlton that is; the Hall of Famer who went 27-10 for a bad 1972 Philadelphia Phillies team. Both Lee and Carlton work fast.

Sure enough, before we finished our meal, it was the fifth inning. Lee got ahead of hitters, spotted his fastball, mixed speeds.

The Phillies broke through in the bottom of the fifth on an RBI double by Raul Ibanez and RBI single by catcher Carlos Ruiz. 2-0 Phillies.

Ryan Howard and Jayson Werth continued the barrage in the sixth, with an RBI double and RBI triple, respectively.

Both probably would have gone out, but were knocked down by the wind. Werth, in particular, hit off the top of the wall in left center, to almost the deepest part of the park. The ball was crushed.

4-0 Phillies.

The key was in the fifth, when the Phillies ran deep counts against starter Ubaldo Jimenez. Ibanez went 3-1 before doubling, and Ruiz ran 3-2 before his RBI single.

Cliff Lee did not get into trouble until the ninth.

Carlos Ganzalez singled with one out; then with two outs, Lee ran a full count and served up a fastball that Troy Tulowitzki hit for an RBI double.

In all Lee was masterful. He gave up six hits, no walks, and struck out five.

Again, Charlie Manuel made the right move, going with Lee instead of Cole Hamels.

If everything goes to plan, I may attend Game One of the Championship series.

Game Two goes off at 2:47 p.m. Thursday. It is Cole Hamels vs. the Rockies’ Aaron Cook.

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A Baseball Mohammed Comes To Rocky Mountains

When Phillies skipper Charlie Manuel needed to motivate his team, he gained inspiration from the Bible, stating: “If the Mountain will not come to Mohammed, Mohammed will go to the Mountain.” The Philly boys responded with two straight wins over Houston to clinch their third straight National League East Major League Baseball crown. The defending World Series champions will face the Colorado Rockies in the opening round of the Major League baseball playoffs. Here are some of the key figures for each team. I will only deal mostly with offensive players, as the Rockies probably hold the overall edge in pitching.

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World Champion Philadelphia Phillies Stumbling as MLB Playoffs Approach

The Major League Baseball playoffs are taking shape in the final weekend with only two spots left to be decided in each league.

In the National League, all four playoff spots are taken: Phillies in the East, Cardinals in the Central, Dodgers and Rockies in the West. Whoever doesn’t win the West will be the Wild Card.

In the American League, the Yankees won the East and the Angels the West. In the Central, the Tigers lead the Twins by one game with two to play.

The Red Sox have claimed the Wild Card, so whoever comes up short in the Central will miss out on the postseason.

The scariest team in the playoffs? It has to be the Yankees with a record of 102-58 and a lofty .638 winning percentage. If the games were played on paper, the Yankees could be awarded the World Series crown now. It would be the franchise’s 27th.

But that is why they play the game. And the last time I checked, the Philadelphia Phillies were still the reigning World Series champions.

Whew. I said it. But that is the most hopeful thing I can about my Phillies.

They’re running on fumes.

The problem? An inconsistent and injured bullpen and an ice-cold offense, save for Ryan Howard.

Howard hit his 44th home run Friday night in a 7-2 loss to the Florida Marlins. His 140 RBI lead the National League.

That is it for the good news. But the Phillies will be headed into the playoffs for the third straight year, where anything can happen.

Yesterday, it was disclosed that J.C. Romero will likely be lost for the season and Chan Ho Park is hurt. Jamie Moyer is also done for the season. Even Brett Myers is not completely healthy.

Another problem is that Phillies manager Charlie Manuel is trying to play rest the starters and capture the league’s best record at the same time.

He’s sitting two to three starters each game while trying to gain home-field advantage.

You can’t have it both ways.

Chase Utley went 0-for-4 and is now hitless in 13 at-bats on the homestand.

The Phils have looked lifeless in their last two games, a 5-3 loss to the Houston Astros before last night’s loss.

All is not lost for home-field, however. The Cardinals lost to the Brewers 12-6 and the Rockies beat the Dodgers 4-3 on Friday night.

The Phils remain one game ahead of the Cardinals and can clinch home-field advantage for the first round with a win Saturday or Sunday or a Cardinals loss either day.

I can live with that.

So I guess Manuel’s hybrid rest/win strategy could muster up one win in the next two days. A solid five innings by Cole Hamels on Saturday could help.

One guy I would not sit down, whatever the consequence, is Howard. 

The big man is the Phillies offense right now.

Otherwise, the team looks dead.

For the 2009 Phillies, they have to crawl before they walk to the championship round of the National League or their second straight World Series.

Can you say Sergio Escalona and a 1-2-3 inning in the same sentence?

Brad Lidge? Brett Myers? Andy Tracy?

It doesn’t look good. The Phillies have to turn on the jets and soon.

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Philadelphia Phillies Fans Enjoying a Special Time

These are heady times to a be a fan of the Philadelphia Phillies.

With their 10-3 victory over the Houston Astros on Wednesday night, the Phillies clinched their third straight National League East crown.

They have not accomplished the three-peat since 1976-78, then winning again in 1980.

Why not 1979? I was in college during this time and got tickets to the Pittsburgh Pirates National League Pennant clinching game against the Cincinnati Reds. It was the “We Are Family” year for the Pirates and they won the World Series that year.

Okay. Who is that guy in the picture, and why did I pick him?

It is veteran reliever Dan Plesac, who pitched for the Phillies in 2002-03. He is among many Phillies to play for the team in this decade who never reached the promised land of the playoffs.

Consider these names who played for the Phillies from 2001 to 2006: Rheal Cormier, Omar Daal, Tomas Perez, Marlon Anderson, Ricky Ledee, Plesac, Todd Pratt, Marlon Byrd, Joe Roa, Kevin Millwood, Turk Wendell, Vincente Padilla, Todd Jones, Tim Worrell, Jose Mesa, Eric Milton, David Bell, Jim Thome, Roberto Hernandez, Cory Lidle, Kenny Lofton, Endy Chavez, Ugueth Urbina, Sal Fasano, and Arthur Rhodes.

If you are like me and you watch every Phillies game that you can on television, most of these names will be familiar to you. We live, eat, and sleep Phillies.

We hear the stories of the 1950 World Series, the 1964 collapse, and the 1980 World Series Championship. I was lucky enough, as a young adult, to go to that 1980 parade.

Then there are a handful of players who played in the 2007 season and the first-round sweep by the Colorado Rockies, who didn’t play on the 2008 championship team: Wes Helms and Aaron Rowand are the most prominent names.

As great as you feel for Raul Ibanez and Cliff Lee, who joined the team this year and are in the playoffs for the first time or in a long time, there is another Phillies player to be happy about.

Consider the career of Jimmy Rollins. He joined the Phillies in 2000, and his first full year was 2001. The team went 86-76 and finished second in the National League East. He has been here for the bad times and is a building block of this championship team.

He got his average back to .250 last night, after a dreadful, dreadful first half of the season.

And I don’t know about you, but the team just plays better when Carlos Ruiz is behind the plate.

Going into the playoffs, surely the Phillies are not the hottest or best team. That might be the Yankees or the Cardinals. The Braves are cooling off and it looks like the Rockies will gain the National League Wild Card.

But until that time, the Yankees, Cardinals, or Dodgers have not won anything.

You know that the Phillies will put up a good fight in defense of their title.

I think they will get at least to the National League Championship series.

Hey, even Chris Coste, back in town as a member of the Houston Astros, said he would be pulling for the Phillies.

“My teammates joked with me,” Coste said on ComcastSportsNet television prior to Wednesday’s game. “I would make the last out and beat the catcher to the mound to join the celebration.”

 

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Philadelphia Phillies’ Arms, Bats Wake Up to Claim Stake to NL East Crown

He sure doesn’t look like Superman, but Ryan Madson sure is pitching like him.

With a fastball reaching 97 to 98 mph in the ninth inning, Madson pitched a two-inning save to preserve the Phillies 7-4 victory Tuesday over the Houston Astros.

Phillies rookie left-hander J.A. Happ improved to 12-4 with the win.

Coupled with the Florida Marlins’ 5-4 victory over the Atlanta Braves, the Phillies’ magic number dropped from three to one.

A victory tonight and the Phillies will capture their third-straight NL East crown.

A closed-door meeting called by manager Charlie Manuel rallied the troops to an important win.

After the loss Monday to Houston, I feared the worst could happen.

I read Rich Hoffman’s blog Tuesday afternoon on the Phillies being tired and read the comments. In retrospect, the one that made the most sense said something like this: “I truly expect Kyle Kendrick and Jamie Moyer to be starting this weekend.”

Meaning, it should be wrapped up by then.

Sure, the Phillies could lay an egg, or the rain could knock out the game. Figures, Pedro Martinez is scheduled to pitch for the Phillies.

The worst case, for tonight, is if Martinez pitches four great innings, there’s a rain delay, then Tyler Walker comes in and gets shelled.

But as doubtful as I am as a longtime Phillies fan, the Phillies have responded when they had to over the past two years.

Listen to what Charlie Manuel said following Tuesday’s game, courtesy of the story by David Murphy of the Philadelphia Daily News:

“You’ve got to be tough, and you’ve got to be mentally tough. I think that’s one thing in common I’ve got with Philadelphia. They always say how mentally tough, or how tough they are, how rough they are? I belong here, then. Because I’ve been tough, and ever since I’ve been in baseball, I’ve been a fighter, and I come to whip your (butt) every day. If I can beat you 100-0, I will everyday.”

Spoken only as Charlie can say it. But if you read between the lines, Manuel thinks his team is going to win every night.

It helps that Pedro Feliz broke open a 1-1 tie in the fourth inning with a grand slam, the seventh of his career, giving the Phillies a 5-1 lead.

Jayson Werth followed with a two-run jack the next inning and the Astros’ Kazuo Matsui closed the score to 7-4 in the sixth.

Madson got out of a two-on, one-out ninth inning jam by striking out Carlos Lee and Hunter Pence. He’s got the stuff and he’s found the fire, often pumping his fist when he closes a game.

I know Madson has blown six saves, but that was either when Lidge was hurt or he was recently auditioning for the role. I think if you make Madson the sole closer, he will do the job. Some nights you will have to spell him with another reliever.

What do you do with Lidge? I don’t know, and at this point, considering what’s on the line, I don’t care.

Going into the playoffs, I can see Madson challenging Albert Pujols with a 97 mph fastball down the pike.

Wanna know what that is like?

Just ask Brad Lidge.

 

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N.Y. Mets Cook Florida Marlins for Philadelphia, Need Atlanta to Finish the Dish

How important was it for Ryan Madson to strike out Mike Cameron to preserve the Phillies’ 6-5 victory over the Milwaukee Brewers on Sunday?

The Mets’ 4-0 victory over the Florida Marlins officially eliminated the Marlins from overtaking the Phillies for the National League Eastern Division championship.

The Phillies finish up the season with a three-game series against the Marlins, and if the Marlins were even one game from elimination, they would swarm the bloody Philadelphia waters.

The Marlins still have a chance to capture the Wild Card but have to pass the Braves and the Rockies. Not likely.

The Phillies’ picture becomes that much clearer. The magic number is three, and while the Phillies open a four-game set at home against the Houston Astros, the Marlins play the Braves.

Back to the Mets: Jeff Francouer, who hit his 14th home run in the fourth inning, is hitting .279. He has been a bright spot in an otherwise dismal, lost season for the Mets. Injury has been at the forefront of the Mets’ woes.

Now with the Fish gone, the Braves are the Phillies lone concern as far as clinching the division. The Phillies are 29-10 at home since July 1.

Phillies ace Cole Hamels (10-9, 4.11 ERA) faces Yorman Bazardo (0-2, 9.55) in the series opener.

A win would go a long way in reaching the finish line. Now Phils fans have to hope Florida takes one or two from the Braves.

If the Braves get hot and sweep the Marlins, which is likely in the way the Braves are playing, the Phillies still have destiny in their hands.

Just win, baby!

Last year, the Phillies used Ryan Madson as “the bridge to Lidge.”

Brad Lidge, in 2009, is in serious disrepair. “Mad Dog” Madson is left as the Phillies primary closer.

I am just fine with that. It is the Phillies best option as they set to defend their World Series crown.

I am worrying about the playoffs later this week. The goal right now is to close thins out in the NL East.

With their win yesterday, the Phillies collected their 90th win of the season. A total of at least 93 wins should wrap this thing up nicely.

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Philly Coaches Chime in on Philadelphia Phillies’ Closer Situation

While most cities would be happy about the Philadelphia Phillies’ march toward their third straight National League Eastern Division Championship, the fans of this city have one thing foremost in their mind.

Get rid of *^&*^(^%(^(*^)*&^ Brad Lidge as the closer of this Philles baseball team.

To get a pulse of the guys who are in he midst of Philly sports, past and present, this Bleacher Report writer imagined a query of the area coaches on whether they would continue to use Brad Lidge as the closer of the Phillies.

Eagles football head coach Andy Reid: “Uh, hmm, the injury report. Donovan McNabb has a fractured rib and is doubtful, Brian Westbrook continues to make progress with his ankle injury and is probable, while DeSean Jackson’s injured groin makes him questionable for Sunday’s game. Time’s yours …”

Flyers’ head coach John Stevens: “Brad Lidge may be between the pipes, we will have to see how he progresses at practice today. Brad may or may not be our goalie, um, closer, while Ryan (Madson) has been real good in practice and is ready to step in.”

The Sixers’ head coach Eddie Jordan is new in town, so a call was placed to the former Sixers’ head coach, last seen in Charlotte, NC: “Um, Allen was not in practice today, so I don’t know if he will play or not. Oh, he’s not? Stratch that. Oh, baseball? Brad Hedge is a fine young man, but I don’t know if he can play basketball …”

Former Eagles coach Dick Vermeil: “Boooo, hoo, hoo, excuse me, let me compose myself, sniff, sniff …”

Former Phillies manager Dallas Green: “That pitcher is throwing up chicken sh** and he pitching like it, too. I will address him myself. When I’m good and ready, I will let you know if he’s ever gonna pick up a baseball for this team again.”

Former Temple University basketball coach John Cheney was more direct when asked about the closer: “I’ll kill him, I wanna kill him …”

Coach Vermeil: “Oh, boo, hoo, hoo. Wait a minute … Boo, hoo …”

Phillies manager Charlie Manuel was unavailable for comments, but did offer this: “Wait a minute, I’m looking up closers in the Yellow Pages …”

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