Jamie Moyer, You’re Old and It’s Okay

Jamie Moyer has been demoted to the bullpen.

He’s being replaced in the rotation by a first ballot Hall-of-Famer who has three Cy Young Awards and a lifetime ERA of 2.92, Pedro Martinez. It’s not as if the Phillies are going with some young kid, like Jeff Samardzija, instead of the steady veteran.

He’s not happy about it, but he has accepted it, almost graciously.

Yes, that was sarcasm.

Moyer may be leading the Phils in victories this season (10) but he has been the beneficiary of good run support. It’s difficult to win 10 games, even in an entire season, with a 5.47 ERA. Just ask Matt Cain.

Sorry, Jamie, but the Phillies are going with a “youth movement.”

Moyer has had a good career.

Never has he been a dominant pitcher, but he was an elite level pitcher for a few seasons. He has two 20-win seasons! How’s that for a trivia question?

He has had a consistency that few pitchers have matched with double-digit victories in 15 of his 23 seasons.

Another “oldie” and one-time teammate, Randy Johnson, has just three 20-win seasons and 16 double digit victories in 22 seasons. Johnson has made it clear he doesn’t want to play anymore.

Jamie needs to take a cue from his fellow veteran and succumb to the fact that he is old. He was born in the EARLY ‘60s—probably the 1960’s. Research is still being accumulated.

The Big Unit and Pedro were dominant and overpowering. They’ve pitched in The Bigs for a combined 40 years and Moyer makes them seem like rookies.

Take a break, Father Time. Rest in the bullpen, help the team with leadership, share your knowledge, and don’t let anyone get hurt tripping over your cane.

Enjoy the playoffs and hope to get another World Series ring out of the deal.

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What they’re saying about Moyer “on the street”:

“I felt bad when they brought me the Brontosaurus Ribs and tipped my car over. I didn’t realize Jamie was next to the car and it put him on the 15 day DL with a broken hip. He’s not as young as he used to be!” – Fred Flintstone

“Jamie is a great pitcher and it’s all natural talent. I tried to introduce him to steroids, but the syringe wouldn’t penetrate his old, leathery skin. He’s one tough bird.” – Jose Canseco

“I asked for Watson to come help. ‘Mr. Watson, come here. I need you.’ I shouted. But he couldn’t hear me because Moyer was teaching him how to throw a 40 mile an hour fast ball.” – Alexander Graham Bell

“My parents overlooked Jamie as a possible Godfather for me. I wish they wouldn’t have. He could have taught me a lot about baseball growing up.” – Tommy Lasorda

“He’s been a great ambassador to the game and represents his country well. He could have gotten to 300 victories if he hadn’t lost two seasons while serving in the Civil War. He’s a warrior on and off the field.” – Abraham Lincoln

“It was kind of weird. Playing with my son was pretty cool. But playing with Jamie was special because he once struck out my Great Grandfather with a wicked googily!” – Ken Griffey, Sr.

“Rickie could still play if he wanted to. Rickie left the game before he was old. Rickie stole his last base the same day Moyer was collecting his first Social Security check.” – Rickie Henderson

“Jamie could play for another 10 years, just as long as he doesn’t announce his retirement every year!” – Brett Favre